![]() Yes, at times, they may enjoy the benefits of you cleaning up their messes and giving them money, but I assure you that being treated as a child diminishes their self-esteem which just encourages them to stay in a dependent, immature state. ![]() Instead, it erodes trust and open communication.Ĭontrolling and rescuing contribute to feelings of anger no adult wants to be treated like a child. Clearly, looking down on someone isn’t the basis of a healthy relationship. I know what you should do and you’re a fool if you don’t do what I say. They have an attitude that says I know better than you do. These types of controlling behaviors (even if done with good intentions) are done from a place of superiority. We will once again feel empowered to change the things we can.ĭetaching respects others’ right to self-determination. And when we focus on what we can control, we will begin to see positive results and our hope will be restored. When you accept that you can’t save your loved one, the best thing to do is take care of yourself and that’s what detaching does it allows you to take a step back, regain your emotional equilibrium so you can be the best, healthiest version of yourself.ĭetaching reminds us that we can only control ourselves. It’s heartbreaking to watch a loved one self-destruct, but it’s heartbreaking in a different way to keep nagging, giving ultimatums, arguing, crying, and rescuing – and still have nothing change. And trying over and over again is incredibly frustrating and sad. ![]() It’s nearly impossible to change someone who doesn’t want to change. You need to detach when you seem to care more about another person’s wellbeing than they do. You need to detach when you are so wrapped up in other people’s pain and problems that it’s negatively impacting your physical or emotional health – you’re not sleeping or eating normally, you have headaches or stomachaches, you’re tense, distracted, irritable, depressed, preoccupied, worried, and so forth.
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